H

I was going to title the post "Hope" except then I decided it looked weird and semi-clichéd and also I think I've already had a post titled "Hope".

I could make a list of things I need to do. That list would be extremely long. But it'd probably be pretty boring to you.

I have to keep myself from slipping into that dreary finality-containing tone that I used to use.

I've been typing a lot lately. Typing tests, typing races, typing speed. I don't know why, but it's sort of fun, I guess. Maybe because I've found websites that allow you to compete against other people. And then I can practise typing fast, which I think is making me faster.

The funny thing is, I can remember almost all the events that improved my typing speed.

I remember when I was about 10 or so, and then my dad got this really old program. It was called "Typing Tutor IV". It's a really really really old DOS program that attempts to help you improve your typing. I think that was when I started typing. Typing using three or four fingers, I believe. And my typing speed hovered around 5-15 WPM. And I really sucked at typing. But then I got better and could get 20 WPM occasionally. In primary school we did some typing, and my typing just naturally increased to speed of about 30-40 WPM. I guess at low typing speeds you don't need to actually try that hard to increase your speed because at that stage it's just finding the keys on the keyboard. When I got to highschool we had this ICT class in year 7 where typing was one of the courses. I learned to touch-type in year 7. At the end of the course 60 wpm was around the best I could do. I had a friend who could occasionally reach 90-100 WPM back then, which irritated me slightly because it was so high. I think I'm a bit faster than him now, though. And because of all the computer assignments and essays that I wrote in 7-10, my typing speed ended up rising to about 75, which I thought was pretty good.

Then at the end of year 10 I started using ridiculous amounts of msn to talk to people, and acquired an extreme adversion to typos. Which brought my speed pretty high, like 100-110 or so. I think that was the major typing speed increase.

And then one day Renee linked the typing speed thing on her blog with 500 points. And then I felt challenged, because I'm a challenged person. Challenged person? Anyway, I ended up doing ridiculous amounts of typing, and realised the massive impact typos actually have on your typing speed. And then I ended up doing typing sessions a lot, which probably took a lot of time from my schoolwork. But still, it was worth it, as a few months' practice has given me ~135 (125-145) WPM now.

I'm going to talk about my competitiveness. I become competitive about a lot of things, which usually do not include exam marks because I don't put that much effort into them. When I compete with another person, they seem to become a personal opponent to me and idk, they're just an enemy to defeat. It's the same in all competitions, in chess games, in crane-folding competitions, in typing speed competitions, even in shoelace-tying competitions I guess. Sometimes it's hard for me to recognise other people's achievements because of that.

I was out running yesterday and I was thinking that coming to this school has changed me in two major ways: firstly it has made me (slightly) less self-centred and secondly it has made me much more inspired. I was thinking of all the things that I wouldn't have done if I didn't come to this school.

- I would still be terrible at chess.
- I would still have a typing speed around 100 wpm.
- I would still be chasing after empty dreams on the wind.
- I would still be an unsocial reject, disliking all the people around me and being annoyed by their actions daily. I'd still dislike coming to school.
- I'd have done a lot less running, and would be much less fit.
- I wouldn't have had the confidence to pick up extension english (something I do not regret in the least, I like the genre of autobiography because I've done so much of it already in blogging and diary writing. Did you know that a personal blog is considered life writing?) or pick up extension 2 english or extension history.
- I'd still be, admittedly, a bit scared of girls.
- I'd still be unconfident walking around school.
- I wouldn't have started NaNoWriMo.
-  I would be losing my motivation to do maths.
- I would probably have a terrible english teacher.

I could go on forever and forever about this. Renee told me that I have a very "romanticized [sic]" view of the school. I guess I do. I inevitably end up ranting about why this school is good and how the people in it are good. Or maybe it's just now. I remember a period awhile ago when I felt really sad and for an instant of doubt in my romanticism. But I'm happy now.

I guess humans have a naturally positive attitude towards things that make them happy, whether those things are good for them or not.